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The Subtle Art of
Manson, M. (2016). The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life. HarperOne.
Feedback Loop from Hell
Feedback Loop from Hell
You're so worried about doing the right thing all the time that you become worried about how much you're worrying. Or you feel so guilty for every mistake that you begin to feel guilty about how guilty you're feeling. Or you get sad and alone so often that it makes you feel even more sad and alone just thinking about it. Welcome to the Feedback Loop from Hell.
The Backwards Law
The Backwards Law
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The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one's negative experience is itself a positive experience.
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Alan Watts used to refer to as "the backwards law" -the idea that the more you pursue feeling better all the time, the less satisfied you become, as pursuing something only reinforces the fact that you lack it in the first place.
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As the existential philosopher Albert Camus said (...) "You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life". Or put more simply: "Don't try".
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Everything worthwhile in life is won through surmounting the associated negative experience. Anyt attempt to escape the negative, to avoid it or quash it, only backfires. The avoidance of suffering is a form of suffering. The avoidance of struggle is struggle. The denial of failure is a failure. Hiding what is shameful is itself a form of shame (p. 9-11).
The subtle art of not giving a fuck
The subtle art of not giving a fuck
Subtlety 1: Not giving a fuck does not mean being indiferent; it means being comfortable with being different. (...) There's no such thing as not giving a fuck. You must give a fuck about something. It's part of our biology to always care about something and therefore to always give a fuck. (...) The point isn't to get away from the shit. The point is to find the shit you enjoy dealing with.
Subtlety 2: To not give a fuck about adversity, you must first give a fuck about something more important than adversity. (...) When a person has no problems, the mind automatically finds a way to invent some. (...) Finding something imporant and meaningful in your life is perhaps the most productive use of your time and energy. (...)
Subtlety 3: Wheter you realize it or not, you are always choosing what to give a fuck about. (...) When we're young, everything is new and exciting, and everything seems to matter so much. Therefore, we give tons of fucks. (...) Maturity is what happens when one learns to only give a fuck about what's truly fuck-worthy (p. 14-19).
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